Gays always seem happy wonder why Straights complain to much

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roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus is? Trying not to laugh.

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what has balls and is long and suckible? Spaghetti

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There's a mexican and african american in a car. Who's driving? A cop.

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Nothing exceedingly odd happened at a bar

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A:Knock Knock B:It's open

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Q. Name six animals that live in the north pole A.Four polar-bears and two penguins

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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Q: Why did the white man die? A: because he had cancer

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape his burning car wreck.

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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What's the first thing that goes through a persons mind when they get shot in the head. The bullet.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

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How do you get a priest out of a tree? Throw a canoe at him.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I´ll give anything to be screw by you.

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Timmy: "Dear Santa, why don't you ever come to my house?" Santa: "Because you don't have parents, Timmy" THE END

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor. wheres my tractor

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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-What did the old lady have for dinner? -Dementia

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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