How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Yo mama so fat.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try to get the antidote for his dying baby chick.

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Whats the difference between a black an white guy? They have different skin tones

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? That depends on what his name is.

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How many tortoises does it take to change a light bulb? One. Just don't expect it to be done quick.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

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What do you get when you cross a lamb and a pigeon? You get your house taken away.

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THe Election

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Why did the priest kill his family? Preists can't marry, therefore have not families.

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A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

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A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

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How many gays does it take to change a light bulb? 1, even if hes not happy im sure he would still be able to change it.

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Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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But there's a sound Dumbledore knows... What does the Fawkes say?

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino? Elephino. It just isn't relephant.

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What did little John get for his birthday? No sort of disease or illness of any kind because he was in perfect health. He also got an Xbox.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops