Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends on how hard you throw them.

What's brown, no one likes and has had a bad history? Dog poop

So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

Why did the blonde lose her job as a teacher? Because she was in a sudden and violent car crash in which she died a slow agonizing death.

Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

Knock Knock Whos there? Rivkee Rivkee who? RIVKEEEEE FIRETRUCK!

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a girl? Consensual sexual intercourse between two young adults.

How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

What do you call an Islamic man fling a plane? A very frightened passenger who took over flying the plane when the pilot collapsed due to a heart attack

Anti pick up line: Boy: If I could re arrange the letters I would put U and I together. Girl: Oh really because if I could rearrange the letters I would put F and U together By Adam Chebali

Why did the black man go to jail? Because he committed a criminal offense.

What happened to to dyslexic giraffe that tripped over a brick. It got back up.

What's black and sits in the back of a police car? The seat.

A generous manager, an honest lawyer, a responsible politician and a dodo bird fall off a cliff. Who survives?. None, they are all long since extinct.

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

Your mamma's so dumb, we are seriously worried she might hurt herself.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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