What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, chocolate milk.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

How much dirt is in a 4 by 6 by 8 hole? None its a hole.

Guess What!? What?! GIGGITY GIGGITY GOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (ALL RIGHT) OH.

Knock knock stop knocking you idiot, it's the 21st century

When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

Why was the man upset? His entire family was murdered, skinned, separated into assorted body parts, and stapled to trees.

Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

What did the boy to it's grandad........ UR COuSIN¬

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

Jake: Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Steve: She had no Arms. Jake: Knock Knock Steve: Who is there? Jake: Not Sarah

What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

Error 37.

What do you get when you mix a dog and a fish? A hot fillet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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