A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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Your mum's so fat that she's incredibly lucky she has a loving and supportive husband who values her personality over her appearance.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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Did the single mother survive the plane crash? No.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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roses are red. vilets are blue. I'm getting hungry. make me some food...bitch.

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

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what did the girl get with her blueberry waffles? blue waffles.

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Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

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Why did the man fall off of his bike? He was hit by a car and died in a tragic accident.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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There was 3 floors in a building. The man outside was watering plants. The man on the first floor was doing laundry. The man on the second floor was peeing out the window because the toilet wasn't working. The man on the third floor was cutting vegetables and accidentally dropped his knife out the window. Now, the four men all went out to tell what they did that day. The man on the third floor said that he was cutting veggies and dropped his knife out the window. The man on the second floor said that he got his wiener cut off. The man on the first floor said that he was just doing laundry. Then, the man outside said that he was watering plants and found a delicious sausage on the ground and he ate it.

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When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

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A man is sitting on a park bench crying. A blonde walks by and asks him why he's sad. The man proceeds to explain he just lost his children in a custody battle with his ex wife.

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Nina and Harry sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes divorce because their marriage didn't turn out right and Harry hit Nina in the head with a iron...

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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how many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? Not enough

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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