What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What did the black man get for Kwanza? AIDS

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

Yo mama has had so many kidney stones she has to be on a water diet.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

A ginger man ascends to heaven and reaches the pearly gates, seconds later he wakes up in a hospital bed and realizes it was merely a near death hallucination and God isn't real.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

Knock Knock I have a f*cking doorbell you asshole

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo. Boo who? Boo Radley.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

The asian boy only did an hour of study....... nothing was heard of him after his mum found out

2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

What's the richest fish in the sea? The one you threw a quarter at.

what do you call ten white people on a bench ten white people sitting on a bench, possibly eating their lunch

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

why did jonathan not get any presents for the holiday?because it was the 4th of July

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

James walks into a room he then leaves as the room is full of hot women but he does not find them attractive as he has a girlfriend and is also bisexual.

if your were a slu* what would you do dance on a pole or get a tattoo

Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

An alligator walks into a bar. The bar tender calls animal control and calmly escorts everyone out the back door.

Yo mamma's so fat, we are all seriously concerned for her health.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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