Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he saw a Vladimir Putin.

What's worse than getting raped then killed? Getting killed then raped.

69

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

A: Ask me if I'm a tree. B: Are you a tree? A: psh, no! *gives offended look and walks away*

How is a fat girl like a tiny motorcycle? She isn't, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking how she might be.

What's gayer than Justin Beiber? The guy getting a blowjob from him! Kelvin Yang.

Why did the girl fall off of her highchair? Her father threw an axe at her.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

There are two muffins in an oven. Since they are inanimate objects, they do nothing but sit there and bake until they are a golden brown color, at which point a man takes them out of the oven and eats them for breakfast.

A wild Snorlax appeared crushing several members of the community

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

GONNA

whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey.

What do you call a black man with no job? Unemployed

What did the muslim do at the airport? He bought a ticket to New York and proceeded to fly there to mourn his brother who was killed during the terrorist attacks on 9/11.

How do you take a Mexican's money? You can't because they have none.

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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