What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow together? rellow

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A hispanic man eats a taco and enjoys. He is kicked in the nuts 2 months later.

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roses are blue violets are red heres a gun now your dead

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Q: why did suzie fall out of the swing? A: because she was a pinecone

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What did the bartender say to the man? can i have a beer if you dont get it the bartender asked the customer for a beer

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A cat playing laser tag.

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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What do you call a black man in jail Your dad

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A terrorist robs a walrus.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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