knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Did you hear Whitney Houston died? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How do you get 500 babies into one bathtub? a blender. How do you get them out? NACHOOOS

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Worms don't like apples.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

what do you call a top thats spining? A spinning top

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek? The show already had several minority characters, and the producers felt that the addition of a Hispanic actor or actress would have added nothing of value to the series.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

thumb_up thumb_down -34

hi joshua

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A duck walks into a doctor's office. Quack.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What's worse than a bad joke? A joke that end's mid sente--

thumb_up thumb_down -34

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Why did the chicken cross the road? to get away from a gigantic tiger slowly stalking him

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Two blondes walk into a bar, but they are then puzzled as the door would not budge open for them.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How did the black guy get out of prison? Further evidence in the case was found which proved that the black guy was actually donating blood to a local blood drive for children with leukemia.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Whats the easiest way to get a dumb blond to have sex with you? rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Know what's funny? Not these jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

thumb_up thumb_down -36

A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why do Mexican's wear pointy shoes? Because its part of their culture and is used as a sign of dignity when dancing to tribal music

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops