What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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Neil Lewis

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WILLY

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70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

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Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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An eagle and a mouse sat on a tree branch, watching a farmer walk to the pasture to milk his cows. The eagle then turned to the mouse but said nothing, because eagles cannot speak. The eagle then ate the mouse because it was a bird of prey.

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A white guy, spanish guy, and a black guy jump off a roof. They were all killed on impact and their families will mourn their loss for years to come.

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2 + 2 = fish

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Its 2 in the morning Go the f+%& to sleep.

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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What has hands but cannot feel? A sociopath; due to his or her mental health condition they are incapable of feeling true emotion.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have testicular cancer........"

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have you seen hellen kellers new treehouse? no well neither has she

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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What do you think 3 black men want when the come and knock on your car window? They just want directions.

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sorry son your nanas been put down

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So there was a jewish guy, a black guy, and a white guy all sky diving. They all had an amazing time and they all went to a bar later to talk about what they just had experienced.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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