why did Bernard have a bold because I ripped his Mohawk

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Nothing if you heard a loud sound or something that was me dropping the phone, by accident, its busted, I will call you when and if all of your "facts" turn out to be true, Hey, had no idea my doppelganger would be so down to earth by the way, so I am sleepy, what about you?

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Whats black and white and says moo? A Dalmatian retriever with a voice box.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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what duz 69 mean? its a number duhhhhhhh

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What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

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How did the blind man escape the mugger? He ran into a bus.

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Life

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What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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What did the rake say to the shovel? Nothing, they're both inanimate objects.

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A Cadillac Escalade ran off a cliff with 4 black man in it. What's wrong with this? The Cadillac could hold 6 people.

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And riiight after you... Hey its always ladies first.

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Q: What did the police officer do when he saw another man getting assaulted. A: Went into a corner and started fapping to it.

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What did the fisherman say to the other fisherman? Were both fishermen

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why was the woman in the kitchen? she was being held hostage there by Bob Saget

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Why wouldn't they give Helen Keller a driver's liscense? Because she was a woman.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What do u call a six year old boy holding a gun. illegal

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.................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... ME

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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