“Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in his viselike grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his lips … His other hand grabs my hair and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine … My tongue tentatively strokes his and joins his in a slow, erotic dance … His erection is against my belly.”

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Smoke weed till i die nigga

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

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2 men walk into a bar. 3 come out

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What do old people break when they fight? A sweat

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What did Washington say to California? WC

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What goes up but never comes down? This dick

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adam hodgson !

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

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Your mamas so poor she cant even afford to support a family

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC.

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Why did David go swimming? Pink sock.

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A seal walks into a club. The man proceeds to skin it and sell the fur for profit.

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What do you call a Mexican hot dog? Lunch.

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STOP BULLYING FAT PEOPLE. They have enough on their plate

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im gay

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What is 100(1+1) -100 + 50 x2 - 300? 0. But who cares? The answer is as worthless as you.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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