Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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In Soviet Russia life had both pros and cons.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Why was the strict Asian father angry when his son got an A- on his test? He found out that his son had been cheating.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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what did jake say to the priest? hmmm, salty

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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My neighbours found out this morning that I'm a serial killer. Knock knock [L]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

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Where would you find 10 dead babies buried next to each other? In a cemetary.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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