What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

What's hairy and sags? A ball sack

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

What did a lot of money say? I FEEL LIKE A MILLION BUCKS!!!!!

What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

Why couldn't the black guy vote? He was only 17.

Politics

Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

What did the joke say to the antijoke? Nothing.

kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

this girl and guy were sitting on my couch turns out its my sister and her boyfriend and she just farted

Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

What is the difference between a white man and black man who are facing each other? They have different rights.

Q.What do Santa Clause and a grape have in common? A.They both have beards. Except for the grape.

What happened to the man who jumped off a building? He got hit by a bus on the way down.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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