How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends, but most weigh around 775 to 1,200 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the seagull fly over the sea, It had wings.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ding Dong! Who's the - - - wait - - - I don't have a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero Because it's impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you get when you put the head of a lion on the body of an eagle?2 dead animals and a fine for killing protected species.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the woman?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is the ground wet It rained

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is my favorite color? How the heck should I know?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the christmas tree smell like shit? because pavaroti used it as a dildo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the captcha tell me to write? Tepsyto Dora

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Brittany Spears is pregnant

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why did those sick people do 2 girls 1 cup? me and my sister got bores.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three peasants were brought in front of the King to be rewarded for their assistance during a drought. The King told them that they could each request one thing from him that he could provide. The first man asked to be rich, so the King ordered his guards to fetch a large sack that was filled to the brim with gems and gold pieces. The man thanked the King and left his palace joyfully. The second man asked for a larger house so the King gave him access to one of his many castles. He hurriedly left, eager to try out his new home for size. The third man asked for a cat so the King gave him a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a bloody Jewish guy nailed to a piece of wood. Jesus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red violets are blue suck my **** and I'll **** you too

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops