why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? He likes bungie jumping, and wanted to cheer himself up by doing one of his favorite hobbies

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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What kind of dance does an alien do? None, aliens aren't real.

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Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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ANTONI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Why Bono always walk barefoot ? Because he's an asshole.

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What do humans and trees have in common? -If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they fal down

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what did the addidas sign say to the nike sign? I'm all in

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What is three times more dangerous than war? Three Wars.

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I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

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How dou you find the population of mexico? Take a census....... By throwing a dime in the street!

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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How do you get a guitar player to play softer? Ask him to lower the volume a bit and maybe also play a quieter tune.

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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why did joe drop his clock? billy ran into him, therfore making the clock wobble in his hand until it fell at 34 mph.

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What did the Crippled Orphan get for Christmas Cancer

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Roses are Red, Vilots are blue Im going to kill myself Bye

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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DON"T READ THIS!

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Q: how do u wake lady gaga up? A: you poke-poke poke her face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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