Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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I like touching my boobs

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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Why did the little girl die Because she was kidnapped by a rapist, and defiled repeatedly, and then to get a ransom from her family the kidnapper slowly pulled out her fingernails and toenails, and sent them to the family the same thing happened with her fingers, toes, hands, feet, arms, legs, teeth, tounge, hair, and eyes, then she died of blood loss after nearly 2 months of torture.

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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Once upon a time, there was an ugly duckling. All the other ducklings made fun of the ugly duckling for being so ugly, and the little duckling felt bad. "Why do I have to be such an ugly duckling?," he asked. However one day, the duckling grew up and became........well, an ugly duck. Turns out he was just an ugly duck. The end.

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What's as red as a Lobster? A Lobster

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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Q: What drug did the addict do at the Grand Canyon? A: None; after years of battling substance abuse, he came to realize the social, financial, and health consequences had significantly degraded his quality of life, and was appalled by his bad decisions.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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Why did Hitler kill so many Jews? Because he didn't like them.

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what has genitial warts? me

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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How do you change your dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

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Why did the blond fall down? She died.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says what do you want? the duck says nothing cause ducks can't talk

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What is the difference between a fridge and a tree ? The fridge can't sing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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