your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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Always do, always will, I have overcome far worse, doctor told my mother when I was born (without a heartbeat) that I was dead, and if they somehow managed to get me breathing again (heart beating etc) I would have suffered so much brain damage that I would not have a concious mind, in other words I would never have been able to learn anything, not to speak nor to type... ...Gotta say I pretty much fucking disagree with the "good" old doctor, and for the record, my heart is as healthy as... Healthy can be I am ambidextrous, but because of this eyedrum mutant thing of mine, I cant tell left from right, because well, to my radar senses both are left and right. Sorry if I am not making much sense here, just bleed a bit out of my nose, had it been from my ears, things could have gotten ugly, but no, its all good.

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Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Your text.

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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What did the old women do when she found her husband dead? She had a heart attack and died as well.

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-Your momma is so ugly, she wasnt a model. -Am I supposed to be caring?

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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