I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I like peanuts. I'm allergic to peanuts. DAMIT

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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Your moma's so fat, she has a considerable list of medical health problems, and she is very miserable.

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What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put my dick in your ass

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

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What is large, heavy, tastes like poptarts, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A semi truck full of poptarts

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Why did the man with seasonal allergies not take his medication? He had liver disease...read the fine print

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What happened to the famous musician when he overdosed? He overdosed.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she saw her future.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

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Q: How did the girl in high school become so popular? A: She got pregnant

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fish fishy caoimhin

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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whats worse then finding a worn in your apple the holocaust whats worse then the holocaust two worms in your apple

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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