guys cmon dont make fun about abbie make fun of josh brown WHAT A NOOB

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Q. What do you get when you cross the North Korean border and an American? A. Death.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

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Why did the retarded man fail his math test? He didn't study.

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Do you need a life...? You can borrow mine! lol JUBIE! :()

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1: I heard a great knock knock joke, but you have to start it. 2: Okay, knock knock! 1: Who's there? 2: ???

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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What do u get when u lick chicken Answer- Your a retard if you did not figure it out it is obviously chicken taste DERP!

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soccer

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Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

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What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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yo mama is so fat that wii fit puts her in the overweight category

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Why was the woman on video chat? She was videochatting with her husband, he was out of town.

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Please give money to a local Jew we have had such a bad time please ONLY people who are Jews.

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How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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What's worse than having an ugly face? Having a face like yours.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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