What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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Teacher: which vegetable makes your eyes water? Student: Any vegetable. Teacher: How? Student: Just rub any vegetable in your eyes and see what happens.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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A Jew walks on his way to work. He does not notice the quarter lying on the sidewalk and did not care for the dollar lying on the other side of the road.

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Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

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masturbating on a tarc bus

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What do you call a cow with no legs. Dead, the farmer cut them off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his monthly car bill is too freaking high and can't afford to take car to work, where all of his co- workers are waiting to tease him!

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save me from the nothing ive become

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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arena football

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

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why did winnie the pooh have his head in the toilet,? it was clogged.

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A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Why do black people have white hands? Palms and soles are not in direct sunlight, and therefore less amounts of melanin are produced in those regions.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people nit make the mistakes he did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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