What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

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What did Santa say to the prostitute? "Merry Christmas!"

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to perform non-voluntary sexual acts against him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ....Mrs Murray silently returned to her armchair, a single tear rolling down her weathered cheek. Her lonely existence deepened, as she realised the gang of boys had fooled her again.

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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eden stop

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Why did the man get ran over by th STREET? Because he crossed the TURTLE!

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What did Hitler say to his empire, A lot of stuff that I am to lazy to look up, all i know that the holocaust was bad and we shouldn't repeat it.

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? A little boy took a bath with Bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the name of the man.

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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When did Osama Bin Laden die? Nobody gives a @!?$

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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