When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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Do you want to hear some bad news? My wife just died Do you want to hear some good news? I'm single

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Can you guess what one black child got while passing through an all-white neighborhood in the middle of the night? Home safely.

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Title IX

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10+10=20. 20+20=40 40-10=30 I have 2 penises.

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I have a really good knock knock joke. You start. Knock knock. Open the door see who it is and then slam the door in your face THE END

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Are you Jamaican? Because your dreadlocked hair is an iconic symbol of one who would be from the country of Jamaica.

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Why did little Suzy fall down? She got shot.

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How do you sink a Polish battleship? You breach the hull.

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Yo mama so fat She could die any day.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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My wife was diagnosed with cancer yesterday. Yeh I didnt find it very funny either.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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So three philosophers walk into a bar. Is it necessarily the case that they walk into a bar?

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Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

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OMG, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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what's the difference between a pogo stick and a traffic cone? well for starters, traffic a cones main function is to cordon off areas or alert drivers to certain areas of road that are not to be breached and pogo sticks are used as toys to heighten bouncing. I'll stop here but the list goes on.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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