Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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If I have a penny, and I give it to Michael Jackson, What will he do with it? Nothing. He's dead.

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What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

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On Friday the 13th,My cat turned into a dog.

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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A kid who lost parents is called an orphan and a wife who lost her husband is called a widow. What do you call parents who lost their child? Free on the Weekends.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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do yo know what's funnier than getting on a hidden camera show? Nope! it's just chuck testa

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Eddie Murphy's recent film career.

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you go to cvs and theres a robber trying to shoot everyone and the cashier says do you have a rewards card

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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Yo mama so fat when she sat around the hous she sat AROUND the house

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I hate it when people pour my cereal. They don't know how much I want. They don't know my life. They don't know what I've been through.

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Why was the boy crying on his birthday? He was being molested by his birthday clown who he was fully aware was his alcoholic costumed father.... And it wasn't his birthday.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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Why did Johnny's pants fall down? Because he was fat.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? it had vaginal warts

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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What do you call a moldy apple? ... A moldy apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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