Why did the goat cross the street? It was running away from the Tsunami

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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1,000 americans jump off a plane. They all die as a result of not having parachutes.

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How did a baby get across the street? Stapled to a chicken.

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A man walked into a bar. He was only 19, but technically a man. Underage drinking is not O.K.

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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what di the black kid get 4 x-MAS nothing

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how many strippers can you fit into a garage? as many as you wanted depending on the size of the garage, but after so many gathered in the same building it is a good probability that some strippers would leave.

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Why did Silly Billy throw a clock out the window? Because he has a serious anger problem.

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Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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why dont black people go on cruises? there not falling for that one again

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I couldn't afford a hair cut... So i contracted cancer.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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A child logs on to antijoke.com he is a chronic masturbator

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? 0. There are no lights at Auschwitz.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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What do you call a man running around town with no clothes on? Naked.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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Wishing to teach his donkey not to eat, a pedant did not offer him any food. When the donkey died of hunger, he said: ‘I’ve had a great loss. Just when he had learned not to eat, he died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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