Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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What's wet and pink and fun to watch in someone's face? A big bubble gum bubble exploding into someone's face.

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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How are trees and friends alike? They are both subject to fall when struck with an axe.

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What looks like a black book but is actually white? I don't know because it can't look like a black book if it's white.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

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knock knock Person A: who's there Person A: oh shit that was me

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Why did the boy jump off a bridge? Because he saw it on tv

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What mouse walks on two legs? Mickey Mouse. What bear walks on two legs? Winnie the Pooh. What duck walks on two legs? All of them, dumbass.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a Scratch N Sniff at the bottom of a pool and tell her to sniff it.

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What do you call a police woman who shaves her pubes? PC Marion Jones

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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How can a black person and a white person be friends? The civil right's movement.

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Hi.

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A midget and a jew walk into a bar. i forget the rest of the joke but your motheris a tramp.

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How many zombies can you kill at once? about one or two unless your Chuck Norris with unlimited powers.

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Q: whats white and smells like shit A: my ass

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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My Boyfriend

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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