I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My name is Matt and I am homosexual. Just kidding. My names Rick.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Andy Carrol

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the electron do after losing his proton? Trough electromagnetical forces, the electron simply left it's atom, making it become a positive ion. Then, atracted by other atom's magnetical force, it joins the other atom's last vallence shell, creating a negative ion, since there are more electrons then protons in the atom in issue.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

James got up from the couch, forgetting what he got up for he asked his girlfriend, Mary: "What did I get up for again?" Mary replied "To get your medicine for your amnesia."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What can fly? Lots of things

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What would Micheal Jackson do if he were alive today? THRILLER! THRILLER! THRILLERS NIGHT!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops