Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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why did the duck fall in the water? It got shot

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

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What is blue and smells like blue paint? Blue paint.

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carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

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What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

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Wwhat's black on top and white on the bottom? Rape.

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What does an unemployed black man and a mexican have in common? They both like to shop at forman mills because they have reasonably priced clothing items.

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What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Your momma's so fat she ate oranges and coffe

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

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How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

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What is 1+1? It's 2!

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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roses are red violets are blue dinosaurs are extinct obama is black

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what did the boy with dyslexia get for his birthday? bad grades

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What do you call shark with no dorsal fin? Unused ingredients for soup.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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