So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened to the man who got stuck in a car after a crash? the ambulance failed to arrive and he died a slow, trajic death.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Her tits are so big that they would provide adequate nourishment for any future offspring.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the boy loose his glass with milk? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the boob say to the bra? sup bra

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what's mouthwatering and smells like fish? salmon

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happens when you shoot Chuck Norris? You go to jail.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Owl." "Interrupting Owl who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats green, has four legs, and falls out of a tree? A Pool Table. Use your imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why can't Susie jump rope? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! who's there? Not Susie.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why is 6 afraid of 7? haha! because 7 ate 9 no because 7 is black

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man with a broken arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "Yes, with proper medical attention and rest, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I broke my arm, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how much could a wood-chuck chuck if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? it doesnt matter because they can not chuck wood

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a Black Priest? His title would probably be Reverend, and then his last name after it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops