You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor? Monks do not speak.

HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

Q: Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? A: Oh, I'm terribly sorry sir, I’ll replace this with a fresh bowl of soup and I’ll have a word with the manager to see if we can deduct a sum from your bill for the inconvenience we have caused you

Why was the boy laughing? Because

Suppose an American, an Indian, a dinosaur, and a leprechaun are on a plane together. Which one would be the first to chug a 7 pound bottle of coke? The situation is too unlikely, with the odds of it occurring being less than 1%, therefore the question cannot be answered accurately.

Why didn't Angie die when she jumped off the Empire State Building? She landed on a pancake

Q: How do you make sweet sexy love to cow and make her come several times and then have her lick your stick clean without nobody ever finding out? While secretly keeping her as your girlfriend forever? A: Wouldn't you like to know...

A. THERE'S SOMETHING ON YOUR FACE B. WHAT?!? *PUNCH* A. IT WAS PAINNNNNNNNN

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

A flight attendant walks up to a black man on a plane. She then asks if he would like anything to drink.

Why was the man whistling? He was calling his friend.

Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

A man walks into a bar and the barenter says, "What'll it be?" The man says, "I'll take a Bud Light."

How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

The WNBA.

I fantasize about having sex with a moose

What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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