Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

this site is an antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Your mom is such a slut that your dad didn't even ask her if you were his biological child and raised you as if you were, regardless of what the dna results may suggest.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Hey! Where is my tracker?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Do you know the reason people like sleeping? It's because they have good dreams. Ooh la la.--

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Sorry Liz, his sodium levels are so bad that while he is drinking a lot, his body is not containing water, and while his pulse and breath is fine he is passing out from time to time, he is asking for stimulants Ritalin specifically, but I am not sure if his body could withstand that, I really don't mind to pry, but does he use Ritalin? I mean he chats a lot, but ADHD? I am just asking out of health concerns, not that I am a doctor, but I just worry... Flirty personality... More like a clown, he says he refuses to eat unless I breastfeed him XD. He is eating now though, solids work, never had a tougher patient, he will make it for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A patient goes to the doctor. The doctor says I have bad news and even worse news. The patient says "What's the bad news?" The doctor says "You only have 24 hours to live." The patient says "Oh my gosh what could possibly be worse than that?!" The doctor says "Well...we've been trying to contact you since yesterday..."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how did santa ruin christmas? he didnt put presents under familys tree's

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many clowns fit in a car? Depends how many get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Knock knock *open*

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBO... nope bin laden

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a black man walks into a shop for an interview....everyone gets afraid and hides behind there desk..when the black man wonders why they are scarred he says "I'm here for the interview"...they all tell him to leave because on his resume he put his name as john...they thought he was white....

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your text.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops