Q:how many ping-pong balls do you need te get a crocodile off of a slide ? A:none, because an engine doesn't have doors

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock! Why didn't you use the doorbell?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

thumb_up thumb_down -17

hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha hahahanahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Why do some women insist they don't have penises or testicles? All humans have penises and testicles! A: These women have been brainwashed by feminism. It's quite sad, really.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how long did it take the blonde to solve the rubiks cube when she knew the algorithm? Approximately 6.73 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Jon "Bones" Jones will be fighting Rashad Evans for the Light Heavyweight title tonight at 10PM Eastern time at UFC145.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

anal seepage

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

what long green and bumpy? a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Me - Ask me if I am a Frog. You - Are you a Frog? Me - No.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the older man give candy to the little kids? he was in a parade

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock knock Who's there? The events which followed are described by police as the August 4th massacre in which a family of five were brutally murdered by two prison escapees who broke into the house in search of a place to hideout.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

poop

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops