What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

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A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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What mouse walks on 2 legs, Micky mouse. What duck walks on 2 legs, All ducks you dip shit.

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How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

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Why did the kids put pirahnas in Mr. Hermann's fish tank? So they could eat him.

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what did the apathetic person say? Who Cares?

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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womens rights.

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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The first few weeks of joining weight-watchers...you're just finding your feet.

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff, Whats not pink and fluffy? Sexual assault.

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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