What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand, says to the man running the stand. quack, because he's a duck

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whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

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Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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Why wasn't the black man served at the bar? Because they didn't serve his kind there... Did I say black guy? I meant to say a horse, wait, did I say bar? I meant the barn, yes, a horse walks into a barn but they couldn't serve him because he wasn't tamed

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What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

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-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

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A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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