A man and his friend are talking. The man says, "You know what's funny? Sometimes you mean to say one thing and you say a completely different thing. Like the other day I wanted to buy a ticket to pittsburgh, but the lady I was buying it from had very large breasts, so I accidentally said 'Can I have a picket to titsburgh?'" And the other guy says, "Yeah, man, it's really funny you say that, the other day I meant to ask my wife to pass the salt, and I said 'you whore, you ruined my life'"

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Hit me and kick me were on a log. Hit me fell off, swan to shore, and went home.

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Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. | | + | + + + + Why did the chicken get run over the farmers tractor? Because the chicken crossed the road and didn't look both ways before crossing and didn't see the tractor that ran him over. P.S. The chicken died and the farmer was arrested for animal abuse.

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Your mom is so fat that she should watch her weight and maintain a healthy diet.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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Why are white people white? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are black people black? Cuz they were Born This Way Why are Mexicans so tan? Cuz they were in the sun too long at birth

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am schizophrenic ...and so am I

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Jesus was born and rased a jew

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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Why didn't LeBron James go to college? Because the opportunity to secure millions of dollars in salary straight out of high school was too lucrative for him to pass up.

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Me and the wife spent her Birthday in bed, if you know what I mean. We're both severely disabled.

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Knock Knock. The doors unlocked you can come in. The two men have a nice conversation while enjoying a couple of beers and then order a pizza because they get hungry.

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baskets

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What happened to the boy who tried to cross the road? He got hit by a semi-truck and died.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

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pee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops