What do you call a praying mantis at your door step? a Jehovah Witness

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

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Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you hear about the giant termite who walks into a beer joint and asks, "Is the bartender here?" Did you...

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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Roses are red Violets are blue Cats meow Dogs have four legs

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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So does Blake

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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why was the black kid so good at basketball because he practiced a lot

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Smeg...

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Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

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Dad, why are we Swedish? Because antilopes and the butterfly effect son.

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An African american man fell out of a boat at sea. He swam back to the boat.

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Why DIDN'T the chicken cross the road? Because 7, 8, 9

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops