Knock knock Who's there? No one, you have no friends.

Whats long, hard, and filled with seaman... a mans penis

how did the man die from falling out of the window his angry x- friend pushed him.

what did the kid say when he didnt see the ice and sliped and broke his arm ouch that beep hurt

you mooma's like a bowling bowl i pick her up finger her throw her down the gutter and she still comes back for more

What's worse then a blind driver? A girl driver

Why can't antelopes fly? Because they can't

What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

Matt is a Duster!

Why is Michael Jackson bad at the piano? Because he is dead.

So, today I was walking down the street... I met a black guy.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

What do Muslims and Jews have in common? Shared humanity.

Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

How do u get high, meet a leprachaun, and touch a rainbow? U find a leprechaun shoot him, steal his pot, and run up the rainbow silly!

I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

While I was having sex... Just kidding, I can't get laid.

What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter what you call him he isn't coming anyway!!!!

Todd is offered a pizza, chinese food, and a sandwich. he then kills himself because options trigger a psychological disorder that was diagnosed to him as a child

How many black guys can fit in a minivan? Eight.

What's worse than getting AIDS from your boyfriend? Getting AIDS from your brother.

A horse walks into a bar gets shot then carried away in a helicopter

Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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