-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Q:what word starts with "p" and ends with "orn"? A: popcorn

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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What's the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.

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Why do many men find it difficult to make eye contact? Debilitating autism.

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How do asians chop their food? CHOPSTICKS! Moral: Yeah that one sucked... ON PURPOSE! Now you dont have to feel inferior ALL the time, you feel equal even though you arent! Ill allow you :D

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

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MOOOOOOOOOOO

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

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Today is March 22.

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Yo momma's so fat that she's gotta get a special door that will allow her to get through.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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ATH: if for every 1 minute for billy is 5 minutes and every 5 minutes is an hour than billy is on acid and needs to come down.

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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a man walks into a bar.... his? drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

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roses are red vilotes are blue i thought i was bent but then i met you

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Why did Logan lose his lunch? Because he forgot to his lunchbox on the day-trip.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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Yo mama's so skinny, she should probably go in for eating disorders' counseling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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