When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What's worse then the WNBA? Nickelback.

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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Q: why does the cat go out of the house by the window A: It doesn't the window is closed

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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Dani Barton is not that! She is a great girl with a strong heart and feelings. The statement below is a joke, hence why it was published on AntiJokes. This is NOT a joke however.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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When life gives you oranges, hit kidswith 'em.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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