so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I went to Nebraska and saw a dead squirrel

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Asian man go into space? Because he was an astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

This guy says: "Doctor doctor, it hurts when I do this!" He jiggles his arm and screames in pain. The doctor replies: "Well, don't do it then!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the Jews say before they got of the bus? Let's make like a Jewish kid's forskin and get the hell out of here.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black guy walks into a bar orders his drink and could not do it in a more civilized way

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did James cry? A: Because he's an infant and still quite afraid of his surroundings

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse biting into an apple and finding a worm? -bidoof

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two muffins are sitting in the oven. One says wow its hot in here the other muffin said HOLY SHIT ITS A TALKING MUFFIN

thumb_up thumb_down +13

XD I literally cant stop laughing XD, thats like a manly tussle would go down huh? XDXDXD Cartoon Network? Is that thing still on anywhere? You like watching cartoons? I don't mind if you do.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's green and blue? yellow

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Johnny had 50 candy bars. He ate 45 of them. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes. Johnny has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have aids, and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two fish are in a tank. One is driving, the other is operating the gun. Two soldiers are in a tank. They both drown.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops