Guess what. I eat weed and smoke yogurt

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passenger seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Obama being re-elected

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car get in the car

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why didnt the man go to the wedding? he wasnt invited.

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Roses are red my shirt is blue don't take my money, their not for u -_-

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A new family have moved in next to me. They have three little kids and they've challenged me to a water fight in the back yard, so I'm just writing this while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, now that i think of it, roses come in many colors And violets are actually violet in color, thus the name

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SEX

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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So you keep your knowledge sharp do you? When it comes to hypnosis and such?

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What did the boy reading a book do?  Well, studies show that reading connects the synapses in the human brain, thus, making said boy reading the book a tad bit smarter.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Yo mama so poor, she can't afford luxuries

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Man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died. Hard part was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in and then the trouble started..

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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What do you get when you mix a baby and a fork? An abortion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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