Ain't idn't a word.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family

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Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

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Do you have ass-thma? Coz your ass is taking my breath away

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Knock Knock Whos there? The Police, your mother just died of bowel cancer.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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A man finds a magic lamp and rubs it. A genie appears and says that he will grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish for a duck". POOF! He got a duck. Then he says "I wish for a penguin". POOF! A penguin magically appears. He thought long and hard for his 3rd wish. Then he said "I wish I had a turtle" POOF! Suddenly out of nowhere the genie disappears. The man looked inside the magic lamp and saw a small turtle. The end.

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your mama so jewish ( fat ) she had to take up two seats on the plane to fly here in the end there was no chocolate left she was taking up the whole plane space.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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Chuck norris is seen standing outside a bakery in Paris holding numchucks. He just finished lunch

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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Q. What is small, ugly and severely asthmatic? A. My younger brother. Jimmy.

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Two penguins are sitting in the bathtub, the first one says to the second one "pass the soap." The other penguin says," what do I look like a radio?"

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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What did one pile of dirt say to the other pile of dirt?? You're dirty

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

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Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

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A man walks into a bar, looks to the right and sees a man one foot tall playing the piano, he sits at the bar and says to the bar tender,"I'm feeling kind of down" the bar tender gives him a bottle of very strong alcohol and later that night he goes home and hangs himself.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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