And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer left the gate open, letting all his livestock escape, and crushing his prospects of trying to keep his family fed.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What has 4 eyes and cant see? Mississippi

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I once saw a fat child eating a sandwich. I wondered what was inside.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

If i was a painting... Id hang myself

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A girl asks a guy are you finish. The guy says no I'm British.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down -14

John has 58 candy bars. He eats 40, what does John have? Diabetes, John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? You would still call them the Flintsones

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the dwarf mother reach for the top shelf? Her height was at a mini-mum.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do vampires cross the sea in?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A cowboy rides into town and stays the weekend but then leaves on Wednesday, how is this possible? He was alive for the weekend and died on Sunday, his body left on Wednesday. Now get a job and be happy with your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black guy. A Jew and a dyke died in a plane crash!:) Who was flying? ....why would you be wondering that when you should be wondering why i put a smile-face beside the details of the crash..

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops