OOOOPPS /

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell into a well? Nothing. She died upon impact and her family mourned her death for years.

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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How do you get a blonde out of a tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did the plane crash? The Pilot Wash a Loaf of Bread

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Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

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what did the lamp say to the hand? You turn me on

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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What did Jesus say to Moses? Jesus isn't real. Moses replied, "Do you think I'm stupid? I'm talking to him!"

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The man says to the doctor "Sir, I have contracted a terrible headache." The doctor replies back, "Yes you do."

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penis?

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.

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Q: What did the terrorist do when he walked into the football stadium? A: Set off a bomb, killing him and others there

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What's worse than a gay joke? Their emotional repercussions, leading to a lack of self-esteem, which eventually drives the homosexual to commit suicide, leaving behind a now destroyed family.

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Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick.

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Stones cannot fly. Humans cannot fly either. Therefore.. I wish I didn't get AIDS...

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Why did the math student refuse to do his geometry homework? Straight lines do not exist, so there is no real world application to any geometric shape.

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What's the difference between the son of a prostitute and Luke Skywalker? Luke knew who his father was.

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Hey! I just met you. And this may seem crazy. So here's my number: Now Get in the van.

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Why did the guy hate the man that said,"I respect you?'' Because the man was Hitler.

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Women's Rights

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What happened to the man who jumped off a plane while riding a donkey? He died.

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Alice, seriously do as I say, I lived with the man for over 16 years, those are not hallucinations, its PTSD, without ritalin he will just go trough that agony for nothing, not coffee not chocolate or any of that, anything that helps his focus. Seriously do not be a bitch Alice, listen to him and do as he says. Its not the first time people think he is having hallucinations when his eyes start moving back and forth like crazy, he is not seeing things, he is experiencing this as if they where real, and just because he can stay in that state for days, does not mean he is meant to go trough that kind of agony because of your ethics or caring or whatever your hesitation might be, the man can go without food for weeks if he has to, but not after you sneak trash like Zopiclone into his system. That was a mistake of yours, make up for it Alice, or ill make you pay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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