A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 20 years later he would gamble away his life savings and then go onto live a lonely and unfulfilled life.

hello there i am a male from the small town of balamory and i have just found a very large oblong with an acute right angle strongly attached to the left hand side........do you think i should hand it to the new york extra torestial services ?

Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

Q: Why did the Little girl fall off the swing set? A: She was Shot in the face.

How old are you? 7

A man walks into a bar, he purchases a drink from the barman proceeds to finish the drink and then leaves.

Did you fall from heaven? Because you look like Satan.

Q:what do you do when a black guy is drowning A:you dont

Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

What is 1 inch long and eats everyone in it's way .... my pet fish

Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

why did the man die? he had cancer

I just found out i have cancer.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

Jesus steps out of a boat, and walks across the water to shore. He's such a show of. Only an attention whore would leave a boat and walk across water for no good reason.

Why didn't the black man make it into heaven? No one did, there is no evidence supporting the existence of an afterlife.

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

What's hiding in Redfoo (from LMFAO)'s afro? Nobody knows...

what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

What starts with an N and ends with R, that you wouldn't want to call a black person? Neighbor

What do you call five gay men walking in the same direction? I don't know the usual human does not take note of such circumstance.

Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...