Someone threw a cigarette at me today... What a fag.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

koj yog ib tug tsoob qaib eater, uas nyiam mus rau Peer li qub poj niam qhov chaw mos raws li ib tug nyiam ua! (Google Translate may help)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Fucked up quotes: "When walking trough hell, keep going!" (I just turn back and walk the other way thank you, I mean worst case I walk trough heaven right?" "Never give up, ever ever ever ever ever..." (Ill just end it with etc because I gave up something as hard as... Typing?) "Curiosity killed the cat" (Translated: "Curiosity kills, stay inside forever" What?)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your mom is so fat that she has type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Moderately entertaining story, friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I called this hot girl up from class one day. She told me to come over because no one was home. I got to her house, and no one was home.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A little girl was curious about where people come from so she asked a very controversial question. Girl goes up to her mother and ask "Mommy, where do babies come from?" Mother replies "Ask daddy." Girl says "Daddy, where do babies come from?" Father replies "Ask the dog." Girl then goes up to her dog and says "Doggy, where do babies come from?" The dog doesn't reply because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How to you confuse an Alzheimer's patient? Present her with a complicated nuclear physics problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the little boy crying He had a frog stapled to his head

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So I was making love to my cat the other day, and my pet dog comes in.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is white and can't climb trees? Powdered sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i just pooped that is all!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was the black man lynched? Because he was found by angry racists in the 1930's.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops