Why didn't Johnny get into college? Because Johnny is retarded.

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What do you call a green land with wheels? Grass lied about the wheels.

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What's the easiest way to load dead babies into a tractor trailer? Pitchfork.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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When geese fly in the "V" shape, why is one side longer than the other? There are more geese on that side.

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what is better than your entire family getting brutally murdered applesauce

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why do blind people laugh at this joke? Because they can't read it and everyone else is laughing.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Whats worse than one jew. Ben rike

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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Q: Why did the little boy drop his toy? A: He fell and broke his wrist, then dropped it in the emergency room, due to the broken wrist.

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Not because she had no arms, but because she just had no hands.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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hey timmy, wanna go to Disneyworld?! tough. *10 seconds later* still no timmy

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a shovel? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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What did Joe do after the party? He went home.

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Why are black people so tall? Jesus was also black and therefore gives black people some favorable traits.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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