Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Two twins are born only a minute apart. There is a mistake at the hospital and they are seperated. Years later they reconnect on Oprah and realize they do not have much in common.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It escaped the zoo.

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Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

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whats funnier than a joke? A: a funnier joke

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How do you stop a bus? Throw a little child in front of it. If the driver is a loaf of bread, this phrase isn't rather important.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

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Once upon a time, there was this guy. He lived a good life and then died.

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Why does a clown wear makeup? So you can't identify him to police after he shoves your kids in his tiny car and drives away.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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What do we call the science of classifying living things? Racism

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Why can't girls count to seventy? Trick question. Clinical research has proven that a fair amount of girls are, in fact, capable of counting from one to seventy using ordinal numbers in the Arabic numeral system.

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Tom and Ralph are In a verbal scuffle. Tom: your adopted ralf! Ralph: yes! Now I have lesser chance of high blood pressure!

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Wow, so today is 9/11? Yes.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Set up. Set up who? Punch line!

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The king asked the jester why was he not telling jokes. He wasn't because he's a jester and therefore is obligated to be funny.

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How do you get a clown off of your property? You ask him politely to get off and if he doesn't, you should contact the authorities immediately.

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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