Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

What do you get if you cross a horse with a cow? A horse and a cow.

what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

A couple is playing chess. The man then chokes his wife to death, throws her body in a woodchopper, and eats her like cereal- Frost

whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

breasts

Why did the chicken cross the road? Hold on. Let me think of an answer.

What's your star sign? Cancer. Oh you're gonna die. AWKWARD.

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

Why did the Jew run across the road? To get to the other side.

Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

"Is your fridge running?" "Yes, I believe so" "You'd better go make sure, because I put some chicken in there and it didn't seem very cold to me"

How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your family have been involved in a fatal accident and we need you to come and identify the bodies.

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Roses are red Violents are blue Oranges

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

What goes in dry and comes out wet and sticky? Bubble Gum

What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

An asian and a black guy walked into a bar. An ambulance rushed to their aid as they were in great pain and had a slight chance of becoming paraplegic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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