What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Hey, austin, what are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do mexicans like burritos? Because they taste good.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

?"i'm so turned on right now." - horny light bulb

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? *snicker* F*ck a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Little Johnny asks his teacher "What's 23 times 3?" She yelled, "Be quiet, Johnny, and grow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

thumb_up thumb_down -19

2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sometimes when I'm horny, I put vinegar on my diick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side XD

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You know whats funny? A man cooking dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A man walked into my repair shop asking why his TV didn't work. I told him it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops