How do you get pikachu onto a bus? You can't. Pikachu is a fictional creature and therefore does not exist.

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Roses are red violets are blue I can't rhyme fridge

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what is the difference between the dead baby and the sandwich? i don't put my penis into the sandwich before i eat it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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roses are red, violates are blue, you left me for David, I am about to kill you *bam* *bam**bam*

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick... Jack didn't make it over the candle stick and died.

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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whats better than holocaust...911 cardiac?

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What do Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen have in common? They are both celebrities.

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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knock knock who's there? it's I, your son. ....... what? dad let me in, it's cold! i don't have a son.... but.... i love you... get off my porch, my son is dead to me. (whimper, fading footsteps)

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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What do you call a new born baby ? Whatever name you and your partner have agreed upon after months of sifting through baby names.

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Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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HALF LIFE 4 COMING OUT SOON!

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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What do you call the child of a black male and an asian female? A child of mixed ethnicities.

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-Your mom worked as a prostitute and died a virgin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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